Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
