My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
