Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Your dad touched me again.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
