we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
