just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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