So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
