But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Randomize
