Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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