ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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