I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
