Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
