Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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