He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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