It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
