Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize