No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i will never coherently bang her
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
