I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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