I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
do herpes really smell.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
