If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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