Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
