Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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