I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
