i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
