I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
