yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
