just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize