i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
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Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
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IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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