i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
