What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
