I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
