I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
