DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
