A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
We left the knife in your bed.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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