Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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