I puked a lego.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
