Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize