Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
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