Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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