we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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