I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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