Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
