I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
