I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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