dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize