I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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