turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
