Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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