Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
