so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
