you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
