I'm eating all of the evidence.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Randomize
