yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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