Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
