Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
No subtext here. People are naked.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
