dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
