Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
