someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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