He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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