I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
i believe in u and ur pee
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
