i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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