3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
