Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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